I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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