Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
