I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
