I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize