Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
