we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
