Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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