he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
