I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
