So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
