I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize