have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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