if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
