all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
40s are totally the cure
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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