i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
