But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
