It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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