exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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