All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
