Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
