ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Someone shit on the floor
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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