I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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