My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
