A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
