i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
