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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize