Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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