shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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