Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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