I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm sobbing to NWA
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
