her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
