Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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