see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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