You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
