Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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