is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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