He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
