We won't sleep together?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
