ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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