He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
