I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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