It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
