Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
