Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
