Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
