morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
