Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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