It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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