didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
