fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
