How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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