Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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