we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
