Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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