i don't like sucking hair
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
