Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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