The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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