I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
