Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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