well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
