what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
