Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
