i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
