How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize