Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
