guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
well you can't waste a boner
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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