i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
