Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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