My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Dicks are not precious.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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