This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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